Medical Journals
On 4th of December 2022, while I was crying my eyes out on the bus making my way back to my halls from the Urgent care facility in Kings College London, I had come to the conclusion that I did not trust a medical professional in London. I was distraught enough to make the decision to not let them touch me, even if I were bleeding out to death.
I want you to know why.
(Un)healthy
The idea (and execution) of health is confusing at best, astoundingly ableist at worst.
Things I wish I had the Courage to say to some able bodied people.
“… This is for the former type of able bodied people. And, for my heart. …”
Talking about “it”
“… We suffer in isolation that is cause by silence. Pain that is exacerbated by this isolation that is caused by a prison of forced silence. “
Doctor, Doctor
“… We forget that doctors are as human as the rest of us. They are not immune to internalised prejudices, or anger or fear. They are not inviolable fortresses that hold kindness and generosity in equal measure for all. They are human, as such come with flaws. …”
Do “YOU” Know
“I had people around me suffer or die or suffer the same disease, thus I am more qualified to tell you about your disease, about your body than you are of living it and in it.”
Something is Wrong with Me
The very first time I knew that something was wrong with me. The very first time I told that out loud.
Scarless Scars
“… You know the thing that is the hardest to explain, it is how utterly hopeless, helpless and defeated I felt. …
… The most frustrating of all is how none of it showed: the pain: the exhaustion, the struggle, how none, absolutely none of it, showed. …”
- Snippets from Personal Diary (2021)
Safe Space
“When non-able bodied people do find a space to speak, it is often never safe enough.”
Trigering World
Triggering world is about how seemingly small things -things that are considered normal, a part of daily life- can potentially be deeply triggering for non-able bodied people.
The Gaslighter
This is the last conversation in between an ex-friend and myself. An example of what gaslighting looks like by people who are close to a chronically ill person.
